Battling defeat...

Grad school, as I've mentioned in the past, has been brutal to me (although my non-scientific social polling has led me to believe that this may be an inherent part of the graduate school process). I'm batting 0.000 when it comes to finding important results or having biologically important data. To make it worse, I've had technical difficulties long the way, although, I've gotten to the point where I'm quite confident in my experimental ability. The experiments I'm doing work well technically, but the null hypothesis is prevailing.

At this point, my learning is focused on designing better experiments, so that regardless of the result, I'll produce interesting data that will move my science forward.

Meanwhile, my spirits have been uplifted as I've spent some time thinking about the concepts in the following quote.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
-Theodore Roosevelt

This idea of trying hard, and taking pride in your effort, has definitely helped my focus. So often I've hung my hat on my accomplishments, which of course, is quite natural. However, there is a time to take pride in the effort that you made, and in 'valiant striving'. I'm beginning to also realize that there is a great deal to learn in our mistakes and defeats.

Furthermore, reframing my thought processes on grad school has also begun to help me fight off the burnout that has been coming on with a vengeance in the last 6 months. By staying more focused on the big picture and adding balance to life, I've been able to accept my struggles and thrive despite the continued uncertainty, primarily about how long it is going to take me to finish my research.

Lastly, having a very supportive partner, who makes life outside the lab wonderful, has also helped immensely. Its helped me realize the value of balance, and appreciate many of the benefits of graduate school, such as controlling my own schedule, not having pressure to be up early and having control over my work and creativity.